emchy

cindymonkey @ 2008-05-16T09:24:00

2008-05-16T16:26:01Z

well no lake or beach for me
that's what i thought might happen
work stuff is needing me
but at least i am working remotely
that i do like
yes i like that quite a lot

w00t.

heat, sex and work

2008-05-16T05:52:31Z

my bones feel twitchy tonight. a big hurdle was jumped over nice and clean it appears and so we're on the other side of the scary. there are more scaries to jump over in the coming weeks, but the big one is now in the official past. interesting how as that happens the heat is on in the bay. i love heat. one of the reasons i love new orleans. even when the heat is stifling and uncomfortable and i can't even breathe in it - i like it. i like my bones feeling looser and waring less clothes and honestly i get less worked up. i start refusing on some core level to get stressed out. sure i get mad and cranky and even a little sad like i feel right now. but that arching anxiety that just eats at me... the warmer it is the less i hold onto it. so right now i am not comfortable at all. but i love the heat. a cold shower before bed yes. going out tomorrow to find food that is light and watery and helps me hydrate, yes.

tomorrow i am seriously considering taking me and the wife to bolinas or berryessa and grilling on the water while i play my accordion and feel sand under my feets. that would be ideal. i think she has school stuff so heck i may just go solo. roadtrip by myself and rock out the music. not sure. there are some ithings that work may need me for. but i also have my cellphone on me to be on call and my computer at home and am planning to work all weekend so it's not like they would be out on the actual workload. i can be responsible and take care of myself right?

i need a day. for reals. to bask in this few days of summer. one of my biggest sads about living in sf is the summers i don't have anymore. the way heat and humidity make you pray and want for the snow and the rains. the way thunderstorms kick all of the electricity and charges through the air. for a little while we have this heat. i don't want to hide from it in an air conditioned office. i want to lie around and soak it up like that first weekend with a new lover where you're sore and you're tired and you're sloppy messy and full of sex. yet you still don't stop. you still don't leave. you run that train for as long as you can and when you come up for air that first weekend lust drunk is gone. sure you can keep on fucking and it can be grand but you only get that first messy weekend once. ah shit it's lush and gorgeous and holds on in the muscle memory. likewise. the first real heat of summer comes only once a year. and living in sf - it's like once every few years. so i am raising my glass to fucking this weather all weekend until the fog rolls in. seriously.

cindymonkey @ 2008-05-15T10:15:00

2008-05-15T17:19:24Z

so the california supreme court just overturned the gay marriage ban
which means - cali homos - we are likely to be able to haz marriage

this is a big deal.

i know not everyone wants to support the patriachal whooha that is marriage
but damn it's nice to make that decision for yourself and not have the state make it for you

Isabella Rossellini is as awesome as i thought

2008-05-15T16:43:49Z

so this feels like it isn't work safe - but it is
it feels like it was directed by lynch - but it isn't

so amazing. so pervy. so delicious.

one happy corner of my desk

2008-05-15T06:53:08Z

stuff

2008-05-15T04:09:01Z

stuff i am doing, wanna do, or think you might like doin

Friday May 16th
Hubba Hubba Awesome at DNA Lounge

Saturday May 17th
Power Tool Drag Races - Ace Speedway
www.powertooldragraces.com/

Sunday May 18th
Dresden Dolls @ Fillmore

Wedesday May 21
Vagabondage Show @ Skyline College (daytime)

Wednesday May 21
Gypsy Jazz at Amnesia (night show)

Thursday May 22
Me and other folks readig at Inside Storytime at Edinborough Castle

Friday May May 23
Queer Open Mic with Meliza Banales

Saturday May 24
RUBE WADDELL FREE STREET SHOW
LIVE AT LEEDS!!!!! 9:45pm at Sketchers 22nd and Mission
www.rubewaddell.org/
www.myspace.com/httpwwwmys...rubewaddell

Friday May 30th
Bohemiem Carnival at DNA Lounge
Extra Action/Gooferman/Shitloads more
www.bohemiancarnival.net/

Saturday May 31st 7pm
Laughing Squid Lucky 13 Anniversary Party!!!!!
CELLspace 2050 Bryant Street
laughingsquid.com/laughing-squid-2008/

Thurday June 5
Leah's awesome show at NQAF

Saturday June 7
I perform at the Best of SFinX show

free movies are full of win

2008-05-15T03:11:27Z

so we just launched that whole free streaming thing up over on jaman. how this is way cooler than other shit is that its free instant watching of artsy, classic, indie movies that are FEATURE LENGTH. stuff you can often only see at film festivals or overseas. so that cool doc wildlife photographers, or night of the living dead, or the udrey hepburn classic charade, or the buster keaton classic go west, or or or... there are 100+ up now and we're adding more weekly. Oh and there is good techie mumbo jumbo that means the player adjusts to your connection to give you the highest quality image. it works in all countries. it rules. i think its pretty exciting.

here's a link to the list of all of the films

Voice Post

2008-05-14T05:53:54Z

crying for beauty

2008-05-13T17:09:49Z

i like that i am being forced to slow down this morning
i do not like that the slow down is at this point looking like i will be late for work
like later than the late i had planned for
i got some great art news this morning which is big with the happy making - more details as they are realized
i feel like - lucky and blessed and like shit hold on hold on hold on to how that feels because how my mind works it can fall away and feel invisisble so fast. i am out of my medicine for like the past week. my emotional rollercoaster is in full swing and i am trying to stay on the upswing of the hill and not let the dips get me down, pull me down, make me trainwreck.

i keep thinking lakes and trees. one of the things i forgot to mention was that the park in fairfax on sunday. there was some tree somewhere made it smell just like michigan. broke my heart in the good ways. it was my second crying of sunday. the first was when i heard the voicemail from my mom. crying from the wishing that here and there could be in the same place. crying from the longing and the missing. crying from the beauty and the love wrapped up in my family of origin and wondering why when i am so close and full of love for people i start pulling away. feet in the grass looking over a stream smelling michigan in fairfax i shed some tears for both what i can't have and the beauty of what i got.

cindymonkey @ 2008-05-12T20:30:00

2008-05-13T03:39:45Z

drinking vs incredible responsibility

so tonight originally i was planning to do a work bonding thing after hours. but lo and behold the cohort and i couldn't make it work. raincheck. so i get home and rooster is still at school planning for her thesis defense. so i practice accordion for an hour. then i do all of the dishes. then i dust. then i watch some trashy tv which just feels annoying and so instead i shut that off and work out.

now i am sweaty with a clean house and parts of a new song written. (its the c triangle pattern at the top moving down on the treble)
plus i am not out any extra cash. plus from working out and wearing decent shoes today my shins feel better.

the main theme running through today is the nature hangover from yesterday. i know i am idealizing but i want more fairfax. more berryessa. more fields and farms and strange musical people banging on things in sheds. i want to bang on things in sheds. one of my friends in oakland has sheds and things to bang and i just wish i could live in her sheds and bang on things all of the time.

i want to lose days to making music and getting sunburned. i want to take off and just drive and not worry.
and then i want to worry and make big salads and lose all of my stress in gardening and tea and coffee on my front beat up wooden porch.
i want you to come over and drink wine out of a clean jar or coffee cup with me while the air gets night time cooler and the crickets start rocking it out.

so now. i figure out. how does moving to new york fit in with all of this. how does the travel need fit in. and i can tell you in some ways. i think its touring. its just travelling and letting the adventures be and letting home be and not working so hard to define and make plans. see i spend so much time making plans that i don't end up sticking to them. it's just want want plan plan and then here i am with no movement years later. this time. she offered. i accepted and tada i was in seattle. and soon tada i'll be in atlanta. and then tada in milwaukee. see. there is a way of just doing it that makes it happen more easily. the new job and better money helps with all of that. easier to buy plane tickets with decent income. but also. there are ways to make it work.

i feel like i am waking up again.
i guess we all need naptime.
but damn - i am just so... ready for this shit.

cute!

2008-05-12T06:00:53Z

i took the advice

2008-05-12T03:41:39Z

i bought the soft toothbrush

smallstages - i owe you

want

2008-05-12T03:40:57Z

things i am asking the universe (and my friends) for help attaining
you can help even just by sending good thoughts my way

+ physical health
       this means more walking, more dancing, more jumping around like a crazy.
+ more music
       hearing it, seeing it, making mixes of it, receiving mixes of it, playing it, practicing it, recording it, discovering it. more!!!
+ more music pals
       players of both guitar and accordion to talk shop with and be somewhat taken under their wing by. need a mentor. need help. can't learn the         ropes in a vacuum
+ more random happy
+ more collaborations
       yay a new zine collarboration is in the works. want more like this
+ more shows. i heart performing for other people
+ more rowdy
+ more picnics and almost naps under the sun
+ less focus on the bad stuff
+ less getting stuck in my own head
+ more singing along
+ more dumb goofy ridiculous corny happy

the qualifiier is that i know i am my own worst enemy in terms of this. i often am overbooked, overtired, and just not very available. that doesn't mean these aren't good goals to have.

cindymonkey @ 2008-05-11T20:24:00

2008-05-12T03:25:09Z

docbrite - if i could have commented on that post i would tell you that it totally made me laugh out loud - a quite literal LOL.
awesome.

i heart fairfax and my accordion

2008-05-12T02:53:33Z

i am driven crazy by not yet having the skill to do what i have in my head on my accordion
GAH
SO FRUSTRATED
just practiced for an hour and literally banged my head in frustration so many times
figured out something cool for the throw the goat song
(e backwards stuff on treble) in case i forget later
but GAH

i did though figure something out about a friendship i have been looking for though

in other news
today the wind blew me over to marin. i tried very hard to get lost and did not succeed. i did succeed in buying a very cool pair of earrings and losing one of them between the store and the car. i also got a cuppa coffee and sat in a gorgeous park in fairfax.

then i went to target and ran into folks from my old job that it was amazing to see
AND THEN i got the wife and i takeout from our favorite mexican place in berkeley and brought it home to her

it was after all of that that me and my accordion bonded, argued, laughed and cried.

cindymonkey @ 2008-05-11T11:24:00

2008-05-11T18:25:21Z

plane ticket WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
fall midwestern tour is fucking ON!

advice?

2008-05-11T04:49:40Z

ok it's becoming clear to me that i need to invest in footwear. and i don't mean just go buy shoes because all of the shoes i am drawn to have no support and leave me with shin splints after a night of happy stompy. so here is what i am looking for. can you help me interweb? i need shoe help.

i like ballet flat style shoes. a modified maryjane is ok, but i prefer if it be a maryjane its strap is more old school ballet shoe styled than traditional maryjanes. i have fallen out of love with keens stylistically. kenneth cole reaction pinch my feet in ways that seem more suited to folsom than to shoe pavilion. but really i am just looking for a cute ballet flat esque shoe that doesn't look horribly boring and in fact maybe even looks kinda quirky and weird but still has enough support that it doesn't just feel like i am walking barefoot.

ideas?

for the purposes of gathering information - cost and materials are not an issue.

yar the morning brings beaches and salty air

2008-05-10T23:48:21Z

so after getting up around 7am, blogging and trying to control my allergies of doom i crawled back into bed and crashed out cuddle style. a couple of hours later just after 10 rooster woke me up and said LET"S GO GET COFFEE and GO TO THE OCEAN! so we threw on clothes and went. so we got caffeinated and got oceaned and it was so good. yay getting the rooster out of the house. yay for rooster no grad school moments.

full of salty air we moseyed over to doppmonsters bday beach brunch and snacked on some pre breakfast fruit and oj. by then i was in need of real food like nobodys business. so we headed down the coast hunting for eggs. we ended up at nicks awesome diner (dancing and cocktails!) 40 mins after they stopped serving eggs. :( so sad. so we got crab sammiches and headed back to the homestead for rooster work.

i have been hit by a little sunburn and a lot of body tired. i fucked up my shins with last nights fun so am a little hobbly today. and my stomach is past cranky and full of no win. its like you know how you feel when you burn the candle at both ends for too long. yea it's all like that. full of achey and janky and not feeling goods. but my heart feels better. and my brain too. tired brain but not fail brain.

so now i just have to sort out which errands need to be done today. because i am pretty sure there are some. and i think they were pretty important.

happy to plug cool shit done by people i like

2008-05-10T15:27:15Z

check out www.bigtopmagazine.com

here is what they have to say for themselves

...Step right this way, ladies and gentlemen, and enter the Big Top! A place of wonder, delight and whimsy, a place of dreams and desires!

A place called home.

This site began as a vision of mine somewhere around a year ago, and though it has been met with many challenges in it’s creation – with more to come, I’m sure – here it is, for you.

One of the primary goals I have for it is connecting us, all around the world. The artists, the dreamers, the people who have the power to change the world through beauty – and do. That’s absolutely everybody as far as I’m concerned, but maybe someone just needs a kick in the ass to get them going.

Please push and post this site everywhere you possibly can think of; It is the first and only of it’s kind out there as far as I know, and maybe someone has been looking for it – which is where the seed for this dream was planted. I was that person not too long ago.

Though I wish to keep away from political issues, I do want to address the numerous ways we can improve the world around us. Red, Black, White & yellow – with a Green tint. Dig what I’m saying?

SO – please check out the site, push it around to everyone, everywhere, and most importantly, enjoy it. There's a lot of words, but I focused on putting in pretty pictures as well. Also an unknown link here or there. More to come.

www.bigtopmagazine.com

With lots of love,

~ kSea flux

yesterday gets some points

2008-05-10T15:04:03Z

friday i woke up full of snuggle. this to me is a good sign. i am often the fidgety bed cat once awake and really need to get up within a short span of approximately 10 minutes after consciousness hits. but friday i was full of soft burrow in sorts of cuddleness. work was also a good thing. some of the [data embargo] seems to be clearing up and regardless my pms is leaving and my emotions are more like i like them. existing and present but not a rollercoaster of overwhelm.

onto the open mic which was full of so much win. kirya traber kicked 8 zillion kinds of literary asses. we all sang a good old fashioned happy birthday song to doppmonster and i got to hug and squeeze on a whole passle of LJ folks. had brought my teeny accordion as sound effect music. fightingwords rocked it.

then it was on the the mark growden curated 705 show. a cross cultural exchange between san francisco and santa rosa. whittles was my uber charming date. unlike our last accordion show together she was a little more manly and i was a bit more girly. the exact swapping of gender performative fashion. and it wasn't even planned! le w00t. i think these were our tough faces.

the music at the show was so good. now its the next morning and i have no idea of anyone's name. sigh. but i am going to go dig up the show listing from somewhere and go get all itunes supportive. my legs and arms are full of ache from the stomping and the pounding and the clapping (damn rsi) and my road is rough like gravel roads from the yelling and singing along. mark of course was the awesome. here is a pic of him playing st. judas.

i got to get that teenage feeling back a few times with music all up in my chest and whittles to gush at about it. mark played guitar, banjo, accordion, saxaphone and at one point, bicycle handlebars. mmm the haunting. other folks played cellos, standup bass, keyboards, guitars and like twelve more kinds of awesome. at one point there was a pink ruffly skirt, rapping, and beach balls. it was a strange and perfect combination. my throat got filled with metaphorical glitter.

something else sort of amazing. when you're at a show. if its the right show. when you should 'who has a sharpie' someone will just pull one out of their pocket for you. that did happen last night and so whittles was able to modify my tattoo as she has been threatening to do for a very long time.
that my friends needs to become a new LJ icon. seriously.

it was also a night of hats. i felt not left out with flowers in my hair (thank you for the duet ksea) but sadly there was no cell phone documentation of the fabulous chapeaus.

it's kinda hard in a way to sum up the night. i got to be full of crazy burst fireworks of happy. i felt like i let the stress and ick of the week fall off in that way that seems very stereotypically 'office worker let's loose on TGIF!' But damn it was fun. last night i was full of words about it and today i am only half full and the words are clumsier than what the feelings were. i felt moved and impressed and in my own heart and loved. yea you know that was part of it. i got to see some friends and be out in the world and i have been so hermited lately, and hermited even when i am out. my heart was closed off even if i was out and about. last night i let myself be open again and felt easy and loose in my joints. even as i stomped them into sore jangly bits. it was as they say a good time. i plan to have it again. i need to pay attention to the signs. to myself. it's all about music these days. that's where this goodness is coming from. i have to make the time to invite more in. and later - i will be practicing - oh yes.

my choice sayings of the night:
satans got your nose
my heart attack tastes like fried milk
it's like eating the earth - in a good way

playing with more work tools

2008-05-09T05:38:50Z

let's see how this works

OMG COOL - if you click on a picture it plays a trailer for the film! (or the whole film if its a short) WOW - they totally rocked that. and that's not even me being pro-work - i am totally just impressed right now.

if you love film, baseball or musicals

2008-05-09T05:30:20Z

i just started two discussions and it would be rad if you could please make a comment on them
they are really much more eloquent that these summary sentences show

1. who do you like better - fred astaire or gene kelly
http://www.jaman.com/a/forum/Music+++Musicals/discussion/09BP2fMcJhs4/

2. your favorite sports / baseball movie
http://www.jaman.com/a/forum/Sports/discussion/0oTJ0Fl5qV0I/

for the record - i heart gene kelly and bull durham.

Heh - look what i just made for work

2008-05-07T22:43:16Z

Alright - we are all like 12 kinds of excitable about the new doc Confessions of a Superhero that we have up. It's gotten rave reviews and much love at film festivals and comic book conventions and now - it's here and waiting for you to join the ranks of fans.

The Jaman staff couldn't resist getting into the spirit of the film. Here's some of our wacky workers and their awesome alter egos.

Es - the most dark and brutal designer
Before

After

Jenny Mink - Queen of the Keyboard

Before

After

Le Splat - cuddly and nutritious
Before

After

Los Emchitas - Maestra of the accordion.
Before

After

and last but not least Ryan - Britney Spears official favorite backup singer

Before

After

Superhero cartoons were made with this awesome tool from Marvel Kids! http://marvelkids.marvel.com/cyos/

qom-ity w00t w00t

2008-05-07T05:17:16Z

i am full of the w00t and the excited. last year at the queer arts fest i saw kirya traber read and MAN she knocked my fucking socks off
now QOM is lucky enough to have her gracing our humble stage. give it up, rock and roll and see you friday for Kirya Traber at le Queer Open Mic!

Kirya Traber is not a political poet, but an activist sustained by poetry. Penning from the crosshairs of intersecting communities, she seeks not to convert, but merely chronicle the inalienable marriage of the personal and the political. She is currently working as a Poet Mentor with Youth Speaks where she develops and facilitates spoken word workshops for bay area teens.

Vagabondage and burlesque tonight in oakland

2008-05-05T22:59:42Z

t's the Merry Month of May, and that means it's time for Booze, Comedy, Burlesque and Top-Notch Variety Entertainment at Oakland's swanky UPTOWN CLUB!

Join the Hubba Hubba Revue on MONDAY, May 5th, for;

Kiss Me Kate!
Josie Starre!
Miss Kitty Whip!
Vagabondage!
Lulu LeStab!
Mable Sugar!
Ruby Fuerza!
Dangerous Curves!
Celebrity Simian, Gorilla X!

and everyone's favorite drunks/MC's, Kingfish & Eddie

THE UPTOWN CLUB
1928 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland
(Just 1 block from 19th Street BART!)

as always, JUST FIVE BUCKS all night!

21 & Up, w/ID